Before living abroad, I thought I would come out the other side fluent in French with the ability to cook all sorts of French food. Neither of these things happened, but what actually did happen was much more valuable. I learned to communicate with locals in French. I made not only French friends, but friends from all over the world. I was able to experience many different cultures through traveling. I even learned that the southern part of France calls a chocolate croissant something completely different from the rest of France. 

 

When my two roommates and I first got to Montpellier, we were jet lagged and hungry. The first thing we decided to do was explore the town, then go get dinner. It was around 5:45pm when we decided to find a place to eat. To our surprise, not a single restaurant was serving dinner. We were turned away from several restaurants before realizing that we were not going to find a restaurant in France that serves dinner before 7:00 PM. At this point, we were so hungry that we just sat down and got some food from the small bar menu this restaurant offered during non-mealtimes. We ordered a charcuterie board, thinking we would receive a nice assortment of meats, cheeses, and maybe a jam. About 15 minutes later, three exhausted, hungry, American girls received a tiny plate full of assorted meats. We just had to laugh about it and eat our meat, but then it came time to wrap up our “dinner.” Our waiter was taking an awfully long time to bring us our check. We kept making eye contact with him everytime he passed by the table, but he’d just keep walking past us. Eventually, it was taking so long that we ended up googling why this was happening. Apparently in Europe, your waiters don’t just bring you the bill, you have to ask for it. Finally, we called our waiter over and also found out that you pay at the table. Waiters in Europe will never take your card or money away from your eyesight. Our dinner ended up taking so long that by the time we left, our neighboring tables had finished their full–portioned meals. This was my experience with learning how to eat at a French restaurant, but it was only the first of many learning experiences while abroad. It is crazy to think back on how little I knew about French culture, despite studying it for 15 years, because I had never experienced immersion. 

 

When we arrived at our small and very French apartment, we were introduced by our program assistant to our landlady. She was also small and very French. She went over everything we needed to know about living in the apartment, but she was speaking in French, rapidly. I tried to speak back, but I was so flustered I couldn’t respond, nor could I understand what she was saying. Luckily, our program assistant was able to translate all of the information to us. After she left, my roommates and I were thinking “What have we gotten ourselves into,” as we realized our French was not as advanced as we had thought. Fast forward three months and I come face-to-face with a mouse in the kitchen while cooking. Then, a few days later, I saw another mouse. Then, my roommates saw mice too. We reached out to our kind landlady, who came over asap with mouse traps and cheese. She gave us in-depth instructions on how to deal with the mice, and how she thinks they arrived during covid when her apartment was unoccupied. Once she left, it hit my roommates and me that we understood almost everything she had told us and were able to speak back to her. That was such a proud moment for me. Meanwhile, in school I was taking classes solely in French with professors who barely knew English. I was writing papers, taking notes, asking questions, all in French. 

 

I noticed many similarities between American and French culture. I mainly noticed this with the French college students we acquainted with. They like to do similar things to what I have experienced in college, like go to the beach with friends, go to bars/clubs, and study in the library for exams. The differences within college culture is that the students usually do not travel across the country to go to a certain university. They usually go to a school closest to them that is for their specific field of study. College is also only three years long for them. The main differences lay in the overall culture of France. France has a more feminine culture than America, which means they live by the motto “We work to live,” while the United States lives by the motto, “We live to work.” This is directly shown in their leisurely pace in life, where they enjoy the little things. France has an actual national motto, which is “Liberté, égalité, et fraternité” (liberty, equality, and fraternity”). Some like to joke that their motto should be “liberty, equality, and gastronomy” instead, because food is so important to their culture. Mealtimes are long and paced out, so that people can enjoy their meal as a group. For example, at work, the French get an hour-long paid lunch break, which is one of the many differences between American and French work culture. 

 

When traveling to Europe, I was quick to learn that there is more American influence on European countries than I expected to see. For instance, everyone I met was familiar with all of the same American shows we watch in the United States. They typically watch them with French subtitles, which allows them to learn English. Many of the French college students that I met learned how to speak French entirely from American TV shows. I feel like there is a huge stigma that the rest of the world “hates” the United States, especially France. I asked a Norwegian friend why Europeans make fun of Americans, or seem to dislike us. He said that the rest of the world is so obsessed with American culture, but Americans don’t seem to give the rest of the world any consideration. The reason French people are “sassy” with Americans, is because we come to their country and don’t make any effort to speak the language. This is a fair argument to make, because it is rude that Americans assume the rest of the world should learn and know their native language. This was valuable knowledge to have, as I always spoke French to locals. If there did become a language barrier, they would tell me they appreciated me trying to speak French and that we could continue in English. It is true that most of Europe does speak English as a common language amongst each other, but it is respectful to try and speak their language when visiting their country. I asked a friend who grew up in Russia, but lives in France, what stereotypes people have about America. She confidently said “You know nothing about geography.” My friends and I laughed, while we agreed that was true. It was mind-altering to hear the perspective from foreigners about America’s lack of cultural diversity and ethnocentrism.